Friday, November 11, 2016

Dear Fellow Republicans, We Need to Talk

Dear Fellow Republicans,

Right now you are probably still quietly celebrating President-elect Trump's surprise victory (or maybe more accurately, Hilary's defeat) and the electoral wave that solidified our majority in Congress and in state houses around the nation.  As someone who has participated in the Republican caucuses and primaries the last three cycles, knocked doors, and donated to the party, I can understand your joy; we won.  And as someone who is excited for a possible future that includes a lower tax burden, safety from foreign threats, a Supreme Court Justice who will protect life in the womb, and a re-imagining of our healthcare policy, I can understand your elation.  But the last couple of days I haven't been able to share with you in that joy and that's why we need to talk.

If you're reading this post, that surely means you've been on social media where things have gotten ugly the past few days.  People have expressed their hurt, their fears, their anxieties and have lashed out at the world.  No doubt that you've felt the sting of people leveling charges that the way you voted makes YOU a bad person. That your vote means that you're a bigot. Racist.  Sexist.  Xenophobic.  I want to reassure you that they're probably wrong.  I've seen the ways you've honored women, spent your time in soup kitchens, bought Christmas gifts for families that can't afford them, and opened your homes to foreigners.  Having voted for Trump doesn't automatically make you a "deplorable" any more than voting for Hilary makes one morally enlightened.  But as someone who has been deeply wary of Trump's ascension from the very beginning and did my best to try and deny his nomination, I want to implore you not to be dismissive of the concerns of liberal America.

Does wanting to curb illegal immigration racist? No.  But it's estimated that as many as 40% of illegal aliens came here legally and overstayed their work or student visas.  So when Donald Trump opens his campaign by vilifying illegal residents from Mexico as rapists and murders but not the illegal residents from Sweden or Australia, that's racist.  Latinos both legal and illegal know the anxiety of whether they'll be safe when people tell them to "go back to their country" and shout them down with threats.

Is having trustworthy judges important?  Yes.  But when Donald Trump implied a judge couldn't be impartial because of his ethnicity, that's racist.  People of color know how exhausting it is to have to defend their credibility at school or work because of their skin.

Is keeping our cities safe a priority?  Yes.  But when Donald Trump promotes "Stop And Frisk" policing despite the fact that it has been found to target minorities and violate their 4th amendment rights all without actually having a meaningful impact on public safety, that's racist.  Young black men fear that any given encounter with law enforcement could be fatal and they have a right to be afraid of a president who wants to up their interactions.

When Donald Trump threw one of his own supporters out of one of his rallies because he was black and was presumed to be a protester, that's racist.

Is keeping our country safe from terrorist paramount?  Of course.  But when Trump said we should ban immigration from Muslim countries and deny even taking Syrian refugees who are women and children because they still might be dangerous, that's racist.

When Trump insinuated that Megyn Kelly's criticisms of him were overly harsh because she was on her period, that's sexist.  Every women knows what it's like to have their emphatic opinion dismissed because people assume she's on her period.

When Trump implied a former Miss Universe's weight disqualified her from being taken seriously, that's sexist.  Most all women know the struggle of society tying their self-worth up in their weight.

When Trump insinuated that Clinton was unqualified despite being a lawyer, a former first lady, a US Senator, and Secretary of State, that's sexist.  Many women have felt the hurt of being passed up for a promotion in favor of a lesser qualified male colleague.

When Trump defended himself against the video in which he bragged about sexually harassing women by saying it was just "locker room talk", that's sexist.  Most women deal with sexual harassment on a weekly basis and know the pain of having their experiences being dismissed as "boys being boys" or being chastised for not having thicker skin.

The list could go on, but you get the idea.  My point is this, voting for Trump doesn't automatically mean you are sexist or racist, but it absolutely means you voted for a man who is.  There are hundreds of thousands of people who gleefully voted for him BECAUSE of his racist and sexist rhetoric, but that's not what worries liberals.  Those assholes have always existed and will continue to be assholes, Trump or not.  What liberal America is worried about is that there are millions upon millions more people whose vote communicated a profound apathy or active dismissivism to his racist and bigoted ways.  And the fear comes from that sinking feeling that when those sexist and racist individuals fling their vitriol and threats, that maybe good people like you and me won't stand up for them.

For the longest time I've put up with the uglier elements of our party because I still believed that the soul of our party was rooted in freedom, small government, and social/fiscal responsibility.  But with the rise of President-elect Trump, I seriously question whether or not the gravitational center of our party has become white supremacy and racial resentment.  If that day ever comes when the party has truly lost it's soul, I will renounce my membership in a heartbeat.

That is why we need some introspection.  We need to stand against the uglier elements in our own party and denounce them more strongly than our leaders have.  If we are not willing to stand up for women or people of color when our neighbors or the president threaten them, then we are forced to confront the truth that maybe liberal America is right.  Maybe we are racist. Maybe we are sexist.  Maybe we are the bigots we've been accused of being.  So as you live your life today, tomorrow, and the day after, let's not just say they are wrong.  Let's prove them wrong.  




24 comments:

  1. This liberal thanks you. I'm grateful for the many I know with whom I disagree, but are acting in good faith and without hate. When I was a Republican, almost everyone I know was not an asshole, and even when I split off, I think it gave me understanding of our differences.
    It's what gives me and others hope. I will work with those of you who agree with this approach, even if we disagree on policy and solutions. I believe there are millions and millions of you.
    Show us your best, and I'll work with people on this side to try to show theirs.

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  2. Thank you, sir, for expressing so concisely what I've been feeling as a disaffected Republican for more than a year.

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  3. I cannot abide by his dismissive mockery and his hateful manner of all parties he considers weaker than him. My disabled family members are a constant reminder of his unforgivable "leadership".

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    1. My concern is for my disabled grandson who will never be able to care for himself. Electing a man who openly mocked the disabled and has never displayed empathy is more than frightening.

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  5. That lack of empathy is more central to conservatism today than racism or sexism or any "ism."

    Listen to right-leaning talk shows or read blogs. Constantly they rail about - no! not blacks, gays, women, etc. - but about wimps, whiners, and the weak. And that means anyone decadent and effete enough to spare a thought for the less fortunate or the different.

    Such behavior is now deemed "Politically Correct." That means it is unmanly, indecisive, fatal to character, and at worst, racist in itself - against white Christian men. At the very best, it is hinted, it puts our economy and security at grave risk.

    The war on empathy is a covert operation carried out in plain sight. It must be addressed head on by conservatives and liberals alike.

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  6. As a democrat, a woman, and someone with friends and family members from the LGBT community, and from different parts of the world, I have to say that this is the most accurate analysis I've read that helps explain why I (and most of my friends and family)feel the way we do about this election. It's not about being sore losers. I've lived through Reagan, Bush, and Bush. I didn't like their policies but I felt that they were really decent human beings and I didn't feel like throwing up every time I saw their picture. For millions and millions of women and men who have been sexually assaulted, the thought that this behavior has now been sanctioned by the most powerful person in the world, is almost more than some can bear. Over 6 billion people have now been given the green light to assault women, mock the disabled, accuse whole groups of people based on their religion or nationality of causing our problems, etc. etc. For most of us that didn't vote for him, we see this so far beyond any political differences we may have with those who genuinely thought Donald Trump represented some kind of change in the way government operates. We see it in terms of it's enormous impact on the fabric of our society as well as the entire world. And we are scared. Little children are scared. The LGBT community is terrified after the brutal attacks after the election. Chinese American students on the U of Minnesota campus are terrified after an assault of a female student in broad daylight. Both of these assaults perpetuated by Trump supporters. Parents don't know how to console their 6 year old children crying and scared that their friends will be forced to leave this country. The list goes on and on. So please don't ask me to just get over it. I'm not going to be able to do that. I ask you to make a pledge to those who are terrified, that you will speak up when you see this behavior, not participate in it yourselves, and support prosecuting anyone who breaks that law by committing hate crimes.

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  7. So refreshing, thank you! I keep telling both sides that we need to listen to understand, rather than listen to respond (or just... not listen at all, yelling over each other). I have to believe that a majority of Trump voters are not racist/sexist etc., but you're right -- instead of calling liberal America "snowflakes" and "crybabies" it is now incumbent upon the winning party and the president-elect to repudiate that rhetoric and all those who act in its name. Again, thank you.

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  8. Very well said. I honestly want to believe the republican party is not sexist or racist. But with the nomination of someone like Trump coupled with turning on my radio and hearing things like Rush Limbaugh, one of the most popular republican voices, say things like Hillary has kankels the size of Montana, and that in regards to her email she should be laid out on a table, feet in stirrups, and probed probed probed, it does make me truly question how such a large group of people can find these things so acceptable. For the record I am an independant.

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  9. " If that day ever comes when the party has truly lost it's soul, I will renounce my membership in a heartbeat."

    Well that day has come and passed.

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    1. Yes sir, my sentiments exactly. That is why, as a 30+ year member of the Republican Party, I changed party affiliation the day after the election. Why didn't I change it when DT was officially made the party nominee? I wanted to send a strong message that this white Republican 55 y/o woman wasn't buying demagogue they were selling. Proud to say I am now officially a Democrat.

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  10. Amen. We need to work together to address the many challenges we face. A small, efficient government that respects all life and all people, takes responsibility to balance budget and trade, uses strength and restraint to avoid conflict... big challenges require big efforts and understanding that compromise is not an evil weakness but a necessity to achieve common good.

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  11. This exchange gives me a ray of hope in an otherwise bleak landscape. All the Republicans (now, not in my life because I tried to insist on respectful dialogue and refusal of scapegoating) I have heard from sound like the right wing echo chamber. Thank you.

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  12. Thank you. I hope Republicans listen to you, and I hope you mean it about renouncing your membership when the party truly loses its soul--because if that day hasn't come already, especially with white supremacist Steve Bannon in the White House, I'd say it's extremely close.

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  13. For me, this entire election has been about morals, not politics and policies. In addition to sexism and racism, the man is a consummate liar, who denies saying devisive things that are on tape over and over. As Martin Luther King said, "Our lives begin to end when we are silent about things that matter." Cloaking this election as a need for change is truly dangerous. Saying nothing is tacit acceptance, and I hope all Americans, regardless of who they voted for, will call him out. As a Jew familiar with the history of Nazi Germany, who lost relatives, I remind people of all parties that it was the world's silence that let so many people die. We should not be silent about any behavior that is in stark contrast to American ideals.

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  14. "If that day ever comes when the party has truly lost it's soul, I will renounce my membership in a heartbeat." That day has come and gone buddy.

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  15. This left wing liberal thanks you for your post. Would respectfully say though, that when a party flat out refuses to do the job they ere elected to do and fails to even consider a supreme court nominee for months and months on end, that is a pretty good indicator the should is long gone.

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  16. We need to stand against the uglier elements in our own party and denounce them more strongly than our leaders have. This should also go for for anyone not speaking out against the rioting, looting, property damage, and violence exhibited in Portland and elsewhere.

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  17. I appreciate your sentiment and this is well written but, "If that day ever comes when the party has truly lost it's soul, I will renounce my membership in a heartbeat."? What exactly constitutes "That day" if not this election? I don't think that the republican party can go any further off the rails than it already has.

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  18. Please send this to your (or a neighboring) state's Electors. Please.

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  19. Have any of you watched TV lately? EVERY SINGLE THING YOU BLAME TRUMP FOR, is on your favorite TV show.

    America could have picked any other candidate but Clinton and won.

    Stand up for good people, focus on the positive, and make America better tomorrow!

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  20. Thank you for this article. Until this campaign cycle, I was a lifelong Republican. A few months ago, I switched my registration to Independent. Voting for Trump was unthinkable for me, because of his character and lack of experience. Like the author, I do not believe that the people who voted for Trump are uniformly bad people. I can see that Trump tapped into deep anger and fear. What concerns me the most now is how we heal the deep divide in our beloved country. What can we all do now to encourage greater discourse and understanding? Fanning hate and racism will only tear our country apart and make life a lot worse for everyone.

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  21. This is an excellent blog post with smart and measured responses filling the comments section. It's refreshing to see. As a moderate registered Republican who has really become more and more of an independent over time, I can honestly say that the only reason I have remained a Republican was because I felt there was an opportunity to use my voice in the primaries to help nominate moderate voices in the Republican party. As a NY voter, it's the only really voice I have in a presidential election given the state's proclivity to vote Democrat regardless. That said, this particular election and its result has brought me great anxiety, especially as it relates to the fears of minorities and immigrants, such as my parents.

    Immigrating to this country was not just about opportunities but about the guarantee of basic freedoms and protections from prejudices. And I think that we, and others throughout the US, should proactively protect these liberties that have only been granted to really just a privileged few around the globe through millennia of progress and struggle.

    I believe that we must now be especially vigilant, particularly as we put this great democratic system and it's collective cornerstones, the Constitution and Bill of Rights with its accompanying amendments, through one of the greatest stress tests it has ever received. This system and its institutions have survived other great tests before and I am hopeful that with the support of the especially privileged of that system - those of us who have not just survived but thrived thanks to its bounty educational and economic benefits - we will get past this dangerous moment and continue to move forward to a better tomorrow.

    And to those who do not agree that these larger dangers you worry about are real. To those who saw and see Trump as a wild card worth playing despite the damage he's already wrought and we've seen illustrated in cases of racism and xenophobia across the country. I would ask those folks, most of whom would rightly claim to be reasonable and peace loving people, to declare actively to Trump that he must condemn these actions by a despicable few and he must back that up by making sure the justice department brings those who would commit such actions to justice. And if they say "but that's not me" remind them that they can then never use the argument again that Muslims need to police other Muslims who commit acts of terrorism. That they can never generalize about Muslims and Islam as a faith if they do not want the same generalizations about Trump supporters to apply to them. I would hope they'd see the parallels and make sure we get on the right track with at least that part of what's to come.

    Here's the link to Trump's site to supposedly contact him if anyone needs it: https://www.donaldjtrump.com/contact

    Make sure he knows we the people, his constituency, wants that sort of response from him. Make sure he gets it from his own voters and, better yet, donors. If the right pressure is applied from here on out, in accordance with our government's systemic controls, we should be able to see the light at the end of all this.

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